LETS GET CHOCOLATE WASTED…oh wait, I’m not 10 anymore…?

Posted on November 1, 2010


So besides the residual shock I’m still feeling that Halloween has already come AND gone (WOAH), I realized last night how much I miss riding the little nickel ride at Toys-R-Us that sings that one song, yeah you know the one. “I don’t wanna grow up..” Ok so yeah, not quite a newsflash to adults everywhere that being a kid is too much effing fun, (oops did I just say adult?…that’s not right, damn I guess 20 does qualify?..) but a first for me. I thought I was past the whole “I wanna dress up just enough to trick-r-treat with my bff’s and then eat candy ’till I puke!” phase when I turned 16, but last night as I was sitting outside with my cand-y-giver script down, “ok so take 2 of your favorite pieces, happy Halloween!“, I really REALLY wanted to switch roles. Mostly because of this flashback circa 1998: me looking blankly at the crazed and bloodied adult sitting in the chair on the porch who’s asking me absurd and a little too inquisitive questions about my costume and thinking, “dude, do they realize I made this costume in like 5 minutes just so I could fit the trick-r-treater requirement enough to hit the candy trail hard and break my empty pillow case to candy ratio!?! This is a competition here so just give me the skittles, and no-one gets trampled!”. God, I miss that. And I thought I was growing up

So last night (in between the realizations that I’d morphed into the crazy grown up on the porch), I would hear little giggles approaching from down the street, check the fog machine light (only when it’s green can you press the fogger button; yeah I got it at Walmart, Halloween section, never a good sign of a quality item..), cue then music, and release the spooky magic fog into the night air to let all the little treaters know which house to run to. (Man I AM the creepy grown up on the porch, crap.) So after about 30 minutes of doing so, poof, the magic and mystery was lost. I realized it’s all a set up. Yes, it took me that long. There’s no magic here, no mystery, no actual ghostly goblins or cackling witches (I’ve seen Hocus Pocus no less than 20 times by the way), there’s just a girl (not quite a woman), who spent hours trying to entice trick-r-treaters with faux spider webs, black lights, and cheap decorations. A girl who’s attempting to recreate the mysterious Halloween past with a spooky ipod playlist, a bowl of all her favorite chocolate (that must be eaten in moderation, yawn), and a fog machine button that can only be pressed when the green light is on. Bring on the chocolate wine hangovers guys, I’m a friggin’ adult now.



2 pieces each! (watching them grab a handful and run away)



note fog and crazed grown up stage left...



…dreaming kids and adults everywhere got chocolate wasted this Halloween ; )

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